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I'm actually amazed that during Alex and my visit to Paris that one of us didn't get lynched. Never before has the phrase "Cheese eating surrender monkey" been so freely used. They spat in our food, I have no real doubt about that.

I know it's a terrible cliché but Paris really is one of the most beautiful cities I have seen. In many ways it's like London, you can't help but turn a corner and find something else wonderful and fascinating. We did all the touristy things obviously, as one has to, and this is perhaps why everyone could tell from a distance that we were English. How curious. In fact I was mistaken for being French once, outside the Pompidou Centre. I was flattered.

As was polite, we also had a lovely dinner with Fabien, Elisabeth (ooh-la-la), and the beautifully named Valentine. I don't what anyone says about our French cousins, they're great. And the food is better. Speaking of which, head to the latin quarter in Paris. It's the best for bars and such like.

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